you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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