If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
