I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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