ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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