What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
