i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Michael Bay diarrhea
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
