I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
