remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
