There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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