How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We just shotgunned beers for America
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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