would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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