Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
