So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
