morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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