his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My penis needs a shock collar
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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