No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
