God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
