is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
