I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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