Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
