Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
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