I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
