my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize