all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
