dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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