Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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