Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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