I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
