talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
