This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
