I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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