so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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