Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
