So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
