I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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