So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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