I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
