this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
