i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
