Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
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We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
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