I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
