What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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