Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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