I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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