Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize