she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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