Just cropdusted the office
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
