yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
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I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Yup. One sock.