So how was he last night?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him