i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?