beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
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Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.