in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.