I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...