so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
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Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
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I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.