His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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