I think my vagina is haunted
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
