All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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