I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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