Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You are a booty call, not a friend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
