So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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