Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!