don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
