The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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