Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
