Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
