girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
