Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
