Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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